H. Wallace Goodard in his book, “Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage,” asks readers to recognize that the teachings of Jesus taught in the doctrines of the gospel are the only way to be truly successful in marriage.  In the first chapter, he uses the parable of the Good Samaritan to illustrate the roles each of us can take on in our relationship.

It is simple to see ourselves as the wounded man in need of healing.  Living in a fallen world often leaves us bleeding and alone on the side of the path.  The wounded man was healed because he allowed the Samaritan to help him. How often do we fight against those who would help by withholding forgiveness, waiting to repent, or not turning to the only source of true healing.

What isn’t so simple, in the mess of day to day living is to see our spouses as the wounded one.  Mr. Goodard in his book said, “The surest test of our spiritual maturity is the way we react to those who are imperfect physically, spiritually, or emotionally.  How do we react when someone attacks and blames us? Do we defend ourselves at all costs? Do we try to be fair and balanced? Or do we, like Jesus, recognize that ugliness is often an expression of pain?  Do we minister with love and patience? Do we bring healing to the injured?”

When problems overwhelm me and sadness smothers me, I feel injured.  And in those moments, I am sure that Joe feels wounded too. Even in my surety of his hurt, my first inclination is to lash out.  I jump right to that defensive place and feel like I am being attacked and must attack back.

We should also ask ourselves, in what ways am I like the priest or the Levite or even thieves.  Quoting from the book again, “Certainly the same might be said of some of our responses to spousal suffering in marriage.  We sometimes are so concerned about being right in an argument that we fail to be good. When the system is drained of charity, it is only a dead form.  “The letter killeth but the spirit giveth life. When we pound our spouse with logic or power, we are no better than the thieves. When we dispassionately witness our partners’ pain, we are no better than the priest or Levite.”

Pondering on these roles that we all play in our relationships, I am convinced that if I continually asked myself two questions that arose from my pondering of these quotes, my entire relationship schema would be altered.  Those questions are- One, am I bringing healing to the injured? Tow, am I more concerned with being right than I am with being good?

The dilemma before me now is, how do I keep those questions ever present in my mind?  Maybe I should construct a phylactery so I won’t forget or maybe that is a step backward.