“Think of what pride has cost us in the past and what it is now costing us in our own lives, our families, and the Church.”  This quote by Ezra Taft Benson left me pondering what pride has cost me personally. I am sure that everyone has a different answer to this but for me the answer I arrived at was that is cost me connection.

I have been prideful when I did not want to apologize first after a spat with my husband.  I knew that as soon as one of us apologized there would be forgiveness, hugs, words of affection, and the gap between us would be bridged.  Or in other words we would again have connection. But instead I decided to wait and not have to be the first one to apologize.

I have been prideful when someone brought up a point that I did not agree with and I argued the opposite side, without really listening to what they were trying to say.  As I argued my point as persuasively as possible, I could feel the gap between me and the person growing, I chose my need to be right over my opportunity form a human connection.  

I have prideful when I decided that someone is stuck up and decided I shouldn’t even try to be their friend and lost a chance at connection.

I have been prideful when I prejudged someone as not smart enough and again a lost connection.

I love and crave connection.  And yet there are times where I let my pride rob me of that connection.  Times when feeling better than someone, or feeling less than someone, or being right has robbed me from the thing that I most crave.   

I then was led to ponder how pride has cost me a connection to God.  

Take for instance my need to have perfectly ironed shirts for church.  This is not a bad thing, but if I had to choose between having one of the boys in a slightly wrinkled shirt and being early to prepare myself to make the sacrament a meaningful experience OR having everyone’s shirts perfect and being late and hurried and rushed and in a bad mood.  I will choose the ironed shirts EVERY SINGLE TIME. Why? Because of pride. I love to look down the pew and see everyone in their ironed shirts, even if everyone is cross and fuming.

Connection is important to me. It is a life goal; to feel connected to those around me and most importantly to my Heavenly Father. And yet, in small and simple ways I am choosing pride over that connection. Obviously I am not doing that intentionally, but I am doing it and I want to stop. Examining my intentions and acknowledging the choice I am making is a way to help me move towards making a better choice.